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Mark Twain > Life On The Mississippi > Chapter 49

Life On The Mississippi

Chapter 49

                         Episodes in Pilot Life

IN the course of the tug-boat gossip, it came out that out
of every five of my former friends who had quitted the river,
four had chosen farming as an occupation. Of course this was not
because they were peculiarly gifted, agriculturally, and thus
more likely to succeed as farmers than in other industries:
the reason for their choice must be traced to some other source.
Doubtless they chose farming because that life is private
and secluded from irruptions of undesirable strangers--
like the pilot-house hermitage. And doubtless they also chose
it because on a thousand nights of black storm and danger
they had noted the twinkling lights of solitary farm-houses,
as the boat swung by, and pictured to themselves the serenity
and security and coziness of such refuges at such times,
and so had by-and-bye come to dream of that retired and peaceful
life as the one desirable thing to long for, anticipate, earn, and
at last enjoy.

But I did not learn that any of these pilot-farmers had astonished anybody
with their successes. Their farms do not support them: they support
their farms. The pilot-farmer disappears from the river annually,
about the breaking of spring, and is seen no more till next frost.
Then he appears again, in damaged homespun, combs the hayseed
out of his hair, and takes a pilot-house berth for the winter.
In this way he pays the debts which his farming has achieved during
the agricultural season. So his river bondage is but half broken;
he is still the river's slave the hardest half of the year.

One of these men bought a farm, but did not retire to it.
He knew a trick worth two of that. He did not propose to pauperize
his farm by applying his personal ignorance to working it.
No, he put the farm into the hands of an agricultural
expert to be worked on shares--out of every three loads
of corn the expert to have two and the pilot the third.
But at the end of the season the pilot received no corn.
The expert explained that his share was not reached. The farm
produced only two loads.

Some of the pilots whom I had known had had adventures--
the outcome fortunate, sometimes, but not in all cases.
Captain Montgomery, whom I had steered for when he was a pilot,
commanded the Confederate fleet in the great battle before Memphis;
when his vessel went down, he swam ashore, fought his way through
a squad of soldiers, and made a gallant and narrow escape.
He was always a cool man; nothing could disturb his serenity.
Once when he was captain of the 'Crescent City,' I was bringing
the boat into port at New Orleans, and momently expecting orders
from the hurricane deck, but received none. I had stopped
the wheels, and there my authority and responsibility ceased.
It was evening--dim twilight--the captain's hat was perched upon
the big bell, and I supposed the intellectual end of the captain
was in it, but such was not the case. The captain was very strict;
therefore I knew better than to touch a bell without orders.
My duty was to hold the boat steadily on her calamitous course,
and leave the consequences to take care of themselves--which I did.
So we went plowing past the sterns of steamboats and getting closer
and closer--the crash was bound to come very soon--and still that hat
never budged; for alas, the captain was napping in the texas....
Things were becoming exceedingly nervous and uncomfortable.
It seemed to me that the captain was not going to appear in time
to see the entertainment. But he did. Just as we were walking
into the stern of a steamboat, he stepped out on deck, and said,
with heavenly serenity, 'Set her back on both'--which I did;
but a trifle late, however, for the next moment we went smashing through
that other boat's flimsy outer works with a most prodigious racket.
The captain never said a word to me about the matter afterwards,
except to remark that I had done right, and that he hoped I would not
hesitate to act in the same way again in like circumstances.

One of the pilots whom I had known when I was on the river
had died a very honorable death. His boat caught fire,
and he remained at the wheel until he got her safe to land.
Then he went out over the breast-board with his clothing
in flames, and was the last person to get ashore.
He died from his injuries in the course of two or three hours,
and his was the only life lost.

The history of Mississippi piloting affords six or seven instances of this
sort of martyrdom, and half a hundred instances of escapes from a like fate
which came within a second or two of being fatally too late; BUT THERE
It is well worth while to set down this noble fact, and well worth while to
put it in italics, too.

The 'cub' pilot is early admonished to despise all perils
connected with a pilot's calling, and to prefer any sort
of death to the deep dishonor of deserting his post
while there is any possibility of his being useful in it.
And so effectively are these admonitions inculcated,
that even young and but half-tried pilots can be depended upon
to stick to the wheel, and die there when occasion requires.
In a Memphis graveyard is buried a young fellow who perished
at the wheel a great many years ago, in White River, to save
the lives of other men. He said to the captain that if the fire
would give him time to reach a sand bar, some distance away,
all could be saved, but that to land against the bluff bank
of the river would be to insure the loss of many lives.
He reached the bar and grounded the boat in shallow water;
but by that time the flames had closed around him,
and in escaping through them he was fatally burned.
He had been urged to fly sooner, but had replied as became
a pilot to reply--

'I will not go. If I go, nobody will be saved; if I stay,
no one will be lost but me. I will stay.'

There were two hundred persons on board, and no life was lost but the pilot's.
There used to be a monument to this young fellow, in that Memphis graveyard.
While we tarried in Memphis on our down trip, I started out to look for it,
but our time was so brief that I was obliged to turn back before my
object was accomplished.

The tug-boat gossip informed me that Dick Kennet was dead--
blown up, near Memphis, and killed; that several others whom
I had known had fallen in the war--one or two of them shot
down at the wheel; that another and very particular friend,
whom I had steered many trips for, had stepped out of his house
in New Orleans, one night years ago, to collect some money
in a remote part of the city, and had never been seen again--
was murdered and thrown into the river, it was thought; that Ben
Thornburgh was dead long ago; also his wild 'cub' whom I used
to quarrel with, all through every daylight watch. A heedless,
reckless creature he was, and always in hot water, always in mischief.
An Arkansas passenger brought an enormous bear aboard, one day,
and chained him to a life-boat on the hurricane deck.
Thornburgh's 'cub' could not rest till he had gone there and unchained
the bear, to 'see what he would do.' He was promptly gratified.
The bear chased him around and around the deck, for miles and miles,
with two hundred eager faces grinning through the railings
for audience, and finally snatched off the lad's coat-tail
and went into the texas to chew it. The off-watch turned
out with alacrity, and left the bear in sole possession.
He presently grew lonesome, and started out for recreation.
He ranged the whole boat--visited every part of it, with an
advance guard of fleeing people in front of him and a voiceless
vacancy behind him; and when his owner captured him at last,
those two were the only visible beings anywhere; everybody else
was in hiding, and the boat was a solitude.

I was told that one of my pilot friends fell dead at the wheel,
from heart disease, in 1869. The captain was on the roof at the time.
He saw the boat breaking for the shore; shouted, and got no answer;
ran up, and found the pilot lying dead on the floor.

Mr. Bixby had been blown up, in Madrid bend; was not injured,
but the other pilot was lost.

George Ritchie had been blown up near Memphis--blown into
the river from the wheel, and disabled. The water was
very cold; he clung to a cotton bale--mainly with his teeth--
and floated until nearly exhausted, when he was rescued
by some deck hands who were on a piece of the wreck.
They tore open the bale and packed him in the cotton,
and warmed the life back into him, and got him safe to Memphis.
He is one of Bixby's pilots on the 'Baton Rouge' now.

Into the life of a steamboat clerk, now dead, had dropped a bit
of romance--somewhat grotesque romance, but romance nevertheless.
When I knew him he was a shiftless young spendthrift, boisterous,
goodhearted, full of careless generosities, and pretty conspicuously
promising to fool his possibilities away early, and come to nothing.
In a Western city lived a rich and childless old foreigner and his wife;
and in their family was a comely young girl--sort of friend, sort of servant.
The young clerk of whom I have been speaking--whose name was not
George Johnson, but who shall be called George Johnson for the purposes
of this narrative--got acquainted with this young girl, and they sinned;
and the old foreigner found them out, and rebuked them. Being ashamed,
they lied, and said they were married; that they had been privately married.
Then the old foreigner's hurt was healed, and he forgave and blessed them.
After that, they were able to continue their sin without concealment.
By-and-bye the foreigner's wife died; and presently he followed after her.
Friends of the family assembled to mourn; and among the mourners
sat the two young sinners. The will was opened and solemnly read.
It bequeathed every penny of that old man's great wealth to MRS.

And there was no such person. The young sinners fled forth then,
and did a very foolish thing: married themselves before an
obscure Justice of the Peace, and got him to antedate the thing.
That did no sort of good. The distant relatives flocked in and exposed
the fraudful date with extreme suddenness and surprising ease,
and carried off the fortune, leaving the Johnsons very legitimately,
and legally, and irrevocably chained together in honorable marriage,
but with not so much as a penny to bless themselves withal.
Such are the actual facts; and not all novels have for a base so
telling a situation.

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